Honestly I feel you. My stutter has definitely ruined my social life and I hate it. I have definitely thought of suicide a few times. I can’t say I have fully accepted my stutter but at the same time, I’ve tried things that would get me out of my comfort zone. I think the only advice I can give is that you try small steps first and try to not shut yourself from society. If you start small with something that you’re not that comfortable with, the more you do it, the better you’ll become at it. Later on, it might not even make you feel uncomfortable anymore because you’re used to it.