I’ve stuttered my whole life. Acceptance helped, but practicing small speaking tasks helped me face my fear of speaking

I’ve stuttered my whole life. Acceptance helped, but practicing small speaking tasks helped me face my fear of speaking Hi everyone, I’m Alex Wong. I’m from Malaysia and currently living in Europe. I’ve stuttered since I started to speak. Like many of you, I’ve faced the emotional weight that comes with it - embarrassment, shame, and the crushing self-blame after severe blocks. For years, I practiced hard, trying to be fluent, avoiding stuttering at all costs. But I was living in fear. I never knew when I’d lose control. A few years ago, I discovered Acceptance and commitment therapy ACT, and it changed how I relate to my stuttering. I began to accept that I stutter. But acceptance alone didn’t remove my fear of speaking. Even when I gave myself permission to stutter, I still felt tremendous fear in everyday situations - from ordering food at a restaurant to giving a presentation at work. I realized that although I consciously accept my stuttering, I was still avoiding speaking subconsciously - because it felt physically and emotionally uncomfortable: sweating, shaking, freezing. Recently, I started practicing Avoidance Reduction Therapy and task-based stuttering desensitization. I began writing down small speaking tasks, like: By card, thanks” at the supermarket Making a doctor appointment over the phone Giving a weekly work report Sometimes I just type them into my phone. Other times, I use a small app I’ve been trying out called Voice Journey (voicejourneyapp.com) where I log tasks and track how they go. I also practice with ChatGPT (chatgpt.com) in voice mode, which helps me rehearse German interactions safely. After each task, I note down what went well, what didn’t. This helps me focus on progress - and stops the spiral of negative thoughts. It becomes clear that I am making progress. One big tip I learned from avoidance reduction: keep doing the easy tasks. Eventually, the harder ones become easier too. After a few months of this kind of practice, I feel much more confident in everyday speaking. Before, even a phone call meant days of mental struggle and procrastination. Now I just call, most of the time without hesitation. But I still catch myself avoiding stuttering openly. I still sometimes avoid eye contact during blocks. I think part of me still feels shame. Maybe true freedom will come the day I can stutter openly, and still hold eye contact without fear. I wanted to share my journey, not because I’ve figured it all out, but because I think we grow faster when we share. If you’ve had similar experiences, or you’re trying something that helps you, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s improve together.