This is it, My Final Attempt At Life. I Call It My Contract Of Death

This is it, My Final Attempt At Life. I Call It My Contract Of Death Being who gave life to existence, before the womb and before I had thought. Please be the judge and the reminder to seek a swift end to life itself if the terms of this contract are not fulfilled by twenty two years of age. To Comfortably Exit The Contract You Must: - Speak on a level where you don’t see the eyes of pity, empathy, annoyance, confusion, laughter, or disengagement by individuals. - Comfortably enter and exit random conversations you didn’t start; at will. - Establish emotional connection by your own whim. The kind of emotional connection that gets you invited to places. The kind of emotional connection that allows someone to contact you when they want someone to talk to, or kill time with in their personal lives. The kind of emotional connection that gets you beyond talking stage. The kind of emotional connection that gets people to ask you what you’re up to, or how your doing, when you’re not around. * If you don’t have this level of emotional connection, but have established some forms of emotional connection mentioned, this portion of the contract cannot be tallied. - Have at least five close friends that are receptive of your emotions and time. You must also actively be this person for them. - Have a group of friends you actively made yourself. Not a group of people who came to you for friendship, or people who talk to you by convenience. - You don’t feel the feeling of being out of place when being somewhere new. It’s easy for you to navigate the social landscape of any place and make friends, enemies, or connections. - You don’t have negative feeling towards rejection anymore. You are now certain that you’re not being rejected by people for your lack of communication skills, but for the person you are and can now fully express yourself as being. - You feel happiness from loving who you are. You happiness isn’t a coping mechanism for thinking things will get better because I made little progress. Why Are You Signing Your Life Away If You Can’t Complete These: I physically can’t continue life like this anymore. Although I’m doing quite decent at University, I keep getting into depressive slumps that tank my performance so much I miss weeks of assignments and classes. I keep thinking about relationships with people I don’t have access to on an emotional level, but would want that connection with. Every time I open my mouth I ruin a potential friendship I could’ve had if I spoke the way I wanted to express myself. Doing something that puts myself out there leads me to talking ti people but not connecting with them and is just leaving me a trail of a life full of regrets I can’t go back to and change even if I had the access to it again. It not like my stutter is the perfect culprit to blame either. Even if I got rid of it today, I don’t know how to fully express myself with my voice. I constantly get in this slumps from the more I continue life like this. I regret every waking day continuing life like this and living, so I plan to end it if I don’t get to where I want to be socially by twenty two. There just no point to living, so I’m giving myself a deadline. I don’t care if the people who I know miss me or not in two years, cause I can’t be bothered to care for others if I’ve never been able to express my true self to them anyway. Hope I accomplish this in two years, because if I don’t you’ll just be reading a dead stutterers words.