commentr/StutterNovember 26, 2024

Content

I think it would remain "a big deal", even if we're 1%. As soon as we're different, being fat, short, too tall, ugly, having a disabily or being a stutterer, at some point it's always a big deal in our society. At least in the society i live in. But that's something very subjective : for exemple my girlfriend is short, and in the 18 years we lived together, it's the second time she said "It was so hard to be a short girl at school... You were just a stutterer, it wasn't a big deal, it's not physical, when you're short you can't do anything about it". "I would prefer a thousand times to stutter instead of being short". At that moment i felt my heart beating in my chest. Thousands of memories coming back in my mind. She had no idea of what it was for me to be a severe stutterer. Even if i described it to her briefly sometimes. The complete loneliness, the whole classrooms laughing at me everydays each time i had to speak. The weird moves of my body when i tried to say a word for 20 seconds. The hits of the teacher. Fighting everydays against groups surrounding me in the playground. And then being the one punished against the wall. And again the wall, and again. In the anger, despair, and sadness, my head hitting that wall again and again. Not a single friend for 12 years. The permanent wish of dying... Well you know how it feels. So i just answered : "Yes, but you had friends". And she said, "oh heu, It's true yes, i had friends... I'm sorry" --- Now i try to behave like if i were a "normal" person, and most of people can't notice i am a stutterer. I learned to hide blocks and speak fluently . I can have a whole conversation without a single block. At least most of the time. I don't feel like a healed stutterer, i'm a hidden stutterer. But i would probably not enter in your statistics if you just listen to me for a while. Also i discovered this sub very recently. I decided it was time to look at that part of my life and admit it's a part of me. Another statistic i almost escaped. I don't think statistics are silly, it helps us to put our beleifs aside, not to build our reality from our subjectivity. Still i don't know from which researchs these 1% stats are coming from. It would be interesting to look at it first.

Themes

Identity & DisabilityEmotional ExperienceSocial & Relationships

Subthemes

Stigma & BullyingHelplessness & AgencySadness & HopelessnessLoneliness & IsolationAuthenticity vs. MaskingIdentity & Self-Perception