Similar situation. I’m 38 and my stuttering has held me back in so many ways. Been on 100 first dates and still single because my confidence is low from always thinking I’m going to stutter and look bad, so I would shy away from deep conversation. However, I have a great job as an engineer and I give presentations to large audiences periodically. Even though I always think I can’t do it, or I’m going to stuttering and look like an idiot, that never happens. We are our own worse critic. I do stammer when I present or word substitute, and think I always do horrible, but then get accolades from management and high ranked military officials. So, even though you think you look like an idiot is not what everyone else thinks. It’s not as bad as what you believe.