Content
Afraid to go to therapy Hey There everyone. ​ I'm a life long stutterer and would rate my severity 9.5/10 maybe. It takes a minute or so sometimes to get 2, 3 words out and its frustrating. I'm from a lower middle class family so we could never afford therapy (except once where i went for less than a month after my father's death and it didn't help much). Anyways I've finally graduated through a lot of hardships and after getting rejected by a lot of companies, I finally got into one. One of the incentives that comes with the job is free therapy with their assigned Doctor. I was kinda planning to go but have been delaying it for 2 months now. ​ First of all, In my country, therapy is still not... normalized (u can say) and I'm not sure if she's well trained for a stutterer and will probably just recommend me to a speech therapist. I do recognize now that i have a lot of mental problems chained around my stuttering as well, like I've given up on talking on calls for over a year now, I take my younger brother with me to market when i need to order something. I've never ordered food in a hotel or a drive through and I'm just really afraid to meet ppl, sometimes even friends after a long time. I can sense ppl's expression and its sometimes laughter, but most of the times just regret or annoyance when they talk to me. I'm kinda afraid that the same will happen at the therapy. My stutter is so bad that some times ppl forget the previous words when i finish a sentence or I just get stuck on one thing for way too long. ​ Therapy is about opening up and telling the therapist about your problems and how it's affecting your mental and physical life and I'm afraid I wont be able to do it. Will probably just annoy and get recommended for a speech therapist (which i still can't afford and after reading some comments here, doesnt seem that. I dont want to write about that stuff in a therapy like i had to do in interviews and would probably just miss out alot of stuff due to shame etc. ​ Any recommendation or experience would be great. Thanks :)