This really is me. When I try to tell stories, it never works out. I imagine it as being beautifully explained, with well timed humour and voice inflections to convey dramaticism or whatever. But I can't, physically can't, do what my mind imagines justice. I always immediately regret even opening my mouth speak, and often cut my story down to it's barest minimum. All voice inflections or dramatic timings are lost in a horrible stuttering, mumbling mess. Sometimes what I intend to be obvious humour or sarcasm is mistaken to be serious - which has led to awkward situations before. Afterwards, people always follow up by deflecting the conversation away from me. Whereas normally they'd dig deeper - spawn a conversation from it. Not with me. It's just as well, I need a few moments to catch my breath and seethe in my shame. But it really makes me feel like I'm not a part of the group - like I can't participate like anyone else.