Glad to hear that you got away safe! Sometimes it is better not to talk. Any fool could've made the situation worse with a lot of talking. I recognize the weakness you are writing about, it is deep sadness to see the world and not be able to interact with it properly. This may sound stupid but why not carry a paper with you stating that you have this problem in case it happens again? :P might feel a little bit safer at least? I will tell you what I would do with the information you just received from that night. Use it. This night you experienced a nightmare for anyone who stutters. Feel back to it, what happened to make your stuttering go wild? How did it feel? Why was it worse that night? Remember it, not in pictures, but in muscles. Sit down alone and go through it, take every detail from the night. Remember how you felt, primarly in muscle. Your body will probably be tense, as it is with any danger situation. But try to relax when this feeling comes up. It is essential for any betterment to know your body and in the case of stuttering you want to know how you tense up when you stutter so you can lessen the tension. I could be barking up the wrong tree here so maybe try but take it with a bit of salt :-) To be able to feel the stuttering tenseness did help me though. A lot. You are aware of your stuttering, and definitely willing to change. If you were an alcoholic, I would say that you were on the right path. The key to success is to never stop. Never stop exploring. Never quit. If you have to take a break, take a break. But don't quit. I sincerely hope that you one day look back to this night as an inspiration and a night where things changed. With respect