I just want to live without fear. I just want to go to work without anxiety, without work draining my energy and my will to live. I want to have a beer and laugh with my colleagues after work, and for it to be a break, not a responsibility to look good. I wish my adolescence had been like everyone else's: drinking, smoking, doing drugs, having sex, and then settling down in my early twenties because I'd already lived as a teenager, I'd laughed, and I was someone, a person. But here I am, doing nothing. i hate myself qnd now im drunk all the time snd idk how ro stop beacuse i dont have friends, i just study. omg is so sad hahahah. and its empty how empty lol. i ve gone to do myslef a piercing today, i love that pain when im drunk m now i have a lot of piercings just for the pain but i hate them all. i should ho to a bdsm club or something, i would love someone to hit me.