commentr/StutterMarch 18, 2018

Content

I have quite a few examples. One was a rejection by a girl. I’ve been rejected many times and some have been specifically due to my stutter. One time, a girl told me she would only date me if I stopped stuttering. Another told me she only like guys who can talk. Another example, is when I was ordering food at a McDonald’s driveway after work. I normally have backup plans for what I can say, so if I can’t say this food option, I’ll try to order this other thing. Sadly all my backup plans failed and I struggled to say my order. When I finished the person taking my order began laughing at me. It was a good 5 seconds that seemed to last forever as my self-esteem lowered. By time I got to the window, there was a manager taking orders. I assume she overheard and relieved him. In hindsight, I should’ve just left. When I was in elementary school, we had this dreaded presentation plan where we did a project every month and had to present. After every presentation, I could hear kids laughing at me and the teacher pretending like it wasn’t going on. That’s not the worse part actually. The part that I still think of to this day is this: one day I was sick and lost my voice and wasn’t able to present. When we went through all the presentations, some of the kids were wondering why I didn’t go. When I say they were wondering, they made a huge deal out of it until the teacher shut them down. My friend later told me he overheard the other kids (sat at the same table group) and they said they were upset because I provided the entertainment through all of the boring presentations. They literally just liked seeing me go up and struggle, it gave them a good laugh.

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceEmotional ExperienceIdentity & DisabilitySchool & Work

Subthemes

Feared Words & NamesAvoidance & SubstitutionShame & EmbarrassmentAnxiety & Social JudgmentStigma & BullyingPublic Speaking

Codes (1)

ordering_service_encounter