I'm Tired

I'm Tired 20M here, been stuttering since I was 5-6 due to trauma caused by literal physical abuse by my KG teacher. My life has been a living hell ever since 🥴 No friends no one to share not even my parents like me. They don't take me out with them because they're too embarrassed and honestly I can't even blame them. I started college and barely made 2 friends and even they don't wanna hangout with me anymore 😂 There hasn't been a single day where I didn't have any suicidal thoughts. Everyday I just wanna kill myself but guess am just too scared to do it.... Something inside me WANTS TO LIVE 🙂 CAN ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT SPEECH THERAPY, IS IT WORTH IT? How long does it takes to show any effects after practice