I'm really sorry you're going through this. That first lesson sounds incredibly stressful, and it makes complete sense that you're shaking right now. I want to validate something important: live, synchronous speaking with the pressure of being evaluated is genuinely one of the most difficult scenarios for stuttering. The fact that you mentioned you speak fine with voice notes isn't a contradiction. That's actually really common. The anxiety and time pressure of live conversation can make stuttering significantly worse, while async communication removes that pressure. Given what you've described, have you considered pivoting toward async online work that plays to your actual strengths? Things like tutoring through recorded video lessons or written feedback, content writing or editing work, transcription or translation services, online course creation where you can record and re-record as needed, or email-based customer support or virtual assistant work. I know it's disappointing when something doesn't work out, especially when you need income, but this one difficult lesson doesn't make you a failure. It sounds like this particular platform structure (live, rated, time-pressured) just isn't a good match for how your stutter responds to stress. That's information, not failure. Your insight about voice notes is actually really valuable. It tells you something about what working conditions might actually work for you. I hope you can find something that lets you work in a way that doesn't trigger the worst of your stutter. You deserve work that doesn't make you feel this way. Wishing you better luck ahead.