Sounds like you edit yourself in life to seem normal to others. I did the same for a while And it served me for a long time. Eventually though I got tired of doing that. Now I let the stutter happen. And try and laugh about it when it happens. Stuttering is an anxiety issue not a physical one. So put yourself out there and be ok with stuttering. I’m 50 now and am not stutter free but free from the guilt of stuttering. You are who you are be ok with it. Do the things that scare you most. Face the fera head on. Exposer therapy doesn’t just work for spiders and snakes.