I have a friend who is confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. I asked him what his one wish would be. He said that he would wish to have working legs so he could run with his dog and walk with his family. Our disabilities don’t let us be who we really are, but I’ll tell you, my friend is one of the strongest people I know. Even though he’s got this crippling problem (no pun intended), he’s made friends and he does stuff with his life. I know *exactly* how you feel, and everyone on the subreddit can relate. But in spite of your stutter, you must make yourself be yourself. While you can’t be a fluent extrovert, maybe you can still try to make friends. I have spent countless days in my dark bedroom, feeling jealous of fluent people, and wishing I could be fluent. But it’s like my friend wishing for working legs: it won’t happen. As brutal as that may sound, it’s the sad truth. For you, do stuff that doesn’t involve a lot of talking, i.e. go to concerts, watch a movie. These give you the chance to be social without having to talk. I know you’re going through Hell, but just know everyone on the subreddit has got your back!