I just moved from Pittsburgh. Was a regular at those Nsa meetings! They are a good group of guys. You are already on the right track as others have said. It’s a process. I think shame, guilt, and self hate are things you can change! You might check out the stuttertalk podcasts as another way of getting more into being open about stuttering. They are good food for thought and often help me reflect on different aspects of the disorder. Edit: therapy is always an option but find a therapist who understands the whole disorder and not just the speech stuff. :)