Why do I stay a loser and don't change?

Why do I stay a loser and don't change? Why do I like lying on my couch and surfing the net on my phone all day, everyday for the past 7 years? It started at 16 and I'm 25 now. I only stop to eat something, go to the bathroom or take a shower. I don't feel like going out. I feel tired and bored to step outside. Sometimes I do feel lonely and sad, yet most of the time I just don't care. I don't care that I don't have friends or a boyfriend. It's like why bother? You'll get disappointed anyways. I know I'm missing out. I just can't help it. I'm stuck. I feel a bit shitty about myself. I don't like the way I physically look. I don't like how I stutter, my slow mannerisms and the way my voice sounds when recorded. I view myself as an annoying autistic asocial ugly slouchy nerd, that is an embarrassment of a human. (I'm not autistic btw) I also feel anxiety a lot. I do feel guilty about it at times, yet I keep doing it over and over again. I feel frustrated with myself, everyday I say I'll change and everyday I do the same shit. I feel more comfortable when I'm all by myself, on my phone just laying down. Time passes and I don't have to think. Night comes and I get to sleep. I've been to therapy, tried pills for years. At times work or go out with people I meet at activities I sometimes force myself to do, but I always return to the same pattern. Eg 8 hours of work then the rest 16 hours at home doing the exact same thing. As I said, I know I'm wasting my life. I know something is wrong with me, I feel extreme guilt yet I can't stop it. I think I'm just unhappy with who I am as a person, inside and out and my life in general. I don't like the way my life is, yet I don't have the confidence to believe I can change it, so I feel hopeless.