can you get your speech therapists to try something else? can you get to another speech therapist? "pray the stammer away", eh?... :| i guess family's out. what of friends? but seriously, thinking in suicidal terms about a stutter is not the way you want to go. you want to try as hard as you can to get to a place where you're comfortable. don't ever get the idea that your stutter can be made to disappear completely - you're not being "cured", you're just learning to cope with something. like the weather, when it pisses you off, yeah? it comes and goes. sometimes stutter will recede over the years. but don't count on it. don't hope for _removal_, hope for _control_.