As a writer, avid reader, and stutterer, here are a few things that will *always* annoy me about characters who stutter. - M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-maybe, just m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-maybe, take it easy on the phonetic stuff. We get it. More than 3 dashes to depict a single stutter is excessive. Don't be afraid to just use a dialog tag. *"I'm... fine," she stuttered.* We understand what's going on, don't bog it all down and bash us over the head with it. (This is more a 'writer' peeve than a 'stutterer' peeve.) - Like I just illustrated, a stutterer who trips badly over something is rarely going to go for it again in the same sentence. Why are they saying "maybe" again? They knows it's difficult. It takes a long time for stutterers to get to the point where they feel comfortable powering through blocks or problem sounds. When writing dialog, try to keep the character's sense of practicality in mind. Are they bad at using telephones? A lot of stutterers are. A lot of us (at some point) will go through an infinite number of hoops to avoid having to do so. So now when your character needs to make a call, they don't just go for it. They ask someone else to do, they get creative. (Just as an example.) - Failure to establish dialog patterns. Us stutterers are usually *intimate* with what we can and can't say. If I'm stuttering on "Maybe," I'm likely also stuttering on "Much." When a character stutters seemingly at random... I get very frustrated. That's not how this works. To establish their 'stutter characterization', try exchanging problem words for synonyms that seem weird to use in casual conversation, to fluent speakers. *"Maybe take it easy,"* is now *"Uh... perhaps don't do that so often."* Maybe a lot of people won't catch the intricacy of this, but when they do... :D! - The stutterer is always a shy sadsack with some kind of horrific childhood trauma. Honestly. This is a pattern I see with characters who stutter, and it bothers me deeply. Even The King's Speech, the song of our people, took this device and ran with it. It doesn't send a good message, for one, but it's also a big narrative cop-out because the author feels a strong need to 'explain' something they won't take the time to properly understand. The truth is, a lot of times stutterers just stutter because they stutter. It's not sensational or dramatic in any way, but there you have it. In your sample: >“H-h-hi, M-m-m-mister a-and M-m-missus W-Williams.” Julio said politely but with a stutter. This is touching upon my first point. You shouldn't tell us he's stuttering if you're already showing us he's stuttering. This is beating over the head with it. Put some faith in your reader. (Less important, you're punctuating your dialog with a period where a comma should be.) It's also kind of touching upon my second point. I say 'kind of', because the character is probably being forced to address them both formally and therefore can't re-route. That's understandable, and maybe even notable, depending on how you're choosing to narrate this. >I’m j-just saying that we b-b-better make the b-b-best of today! But this is definitely some dialog you'd want to think about. Julio just stuttered on 'better' and charged right into 'best'. This is a good place for a re-route. I will say that--without really knowing your intention with this--I do like that Julio seemed about to continue his thought, but opted out. This is pretty common among stutterers. It can be super tiring. Sometimes we have to weigh the importance of what we're going to say and decide whether or not it's worth all the energy it'd take to get it out. Sometimes it isn't. I wish you luck with this project! I'm always wishing for more accurate depiction of stutterers. If you ever need any writing or stuttering advice, just hit me up!