Mental illness overload and my apology to this community...

Mental illness overload and my apology to this community... Over the past few weeks I'm sure you're noticed an increase in negative posts in this subreddit, most of which came from me. I've accused this community of gaslighting, and just flat out lying regarding the whole acceptance thing. All this to say that, I'm the problem...not and if you. It's me, I'm just mentally too weak/tired to cope with the only answer being acceptance. I'm only 17 and am about to do my last year in highschool. After I graduate..if I make it through. I'll probably get put into the "system" for my entire life because my mental illness is so severe that the thought of even going up to an employer and asking for a job while stuttering brings me so much stress. I'm the worst person to be able to handle a disability such as stuttering, and seeing that after 7+ years of speech therapy with no improvement.... I don't think im capable of taking care of myself in the future. Everyday the void calls me, and everyday the call gets louder. Call it what you want, "learned helplessness" or "I'm just a loser" and you're probably right. I can't handle this stutter alone anymore and I can't survive in the adult world with this. My stutter is extremely severe and I don't know how you people do it. I feel like I'm throwing my life away by not being able to handle this stutter, if only I wasn't such a bitch and could handle some vulnerability then maybe I could've actually helped myself. I don't look forward to spending my entire life in some psych ward or asylum. But that's honestly just how the cookie crumbles. Sorry for being such a loser and projecting my insecurities. My name is Isaiah btw. Enjoy your lives