I used to do something similar. "Fuckin" was a gentle entry to getting the airflow going and overcoming blocks. Undoubtedly being in high school contributed to that particular word choice, but it worked for what I needed! Before that, I would use the 'n' sound as an entryway to harder consonants. For a bit some of my friends adopted the "nnndude" as an in-group phrasing. If it were anybody my core group of friends it would have been mocking, but it ended up helping me increase my comfort level and work my way out of needing it as a crutch!