I've stuttered since before I can remember. I've now got a 12 year old son who also stutters. I know how disheartening and demoralizing it can be, but if you continue down this path of beating yourself up it'll only get worse. I can't offer treatment advice because I never got any, and there are so many different approaches to treatment it seems one size does not fit all. I don't know how old you are, but you're old enough to post here, which makes you very self aware. You can't change who you are, and if there's one thing I've seen with my son it's that some kids accept his stutter and some make fun. Choose people who are supportive, let teachers know before classes begin that you stutter. Get in front of it, and don't stop talking to people. My son and I have a bedtime chat each night to talk about whatever he wants -usually video games. He insists on it, and I think it's his chance to let loose and talk freely about his day without being judged.