I understand. I’ve been assessed before and told I’m at a 37% fluency, and for most of my life I’ve oscillated between radical acceptance and pits of despair because I know I have to deal with my stutter for the rest of my life and I’m only in my early 20’s. Acceptance is not the cure, nor is it easy to attain or even maintain. But, in my experience (and everyone’s is different since stuttering is a heterogeneous condition if I’m not mistaken), acceptance does help you hurt less. I’d argue you don’t even need to accept it, you just need to release the shame/guilt you have towards yourself and towards how you sound. I have to repeat mantras like “this person knows I have a stutter and we both know it’s not going to change” or “why stress out so much about something that happens everyday, why put myself through the same pain twice?”. It honestly helps me feel more comfortable in 1 on 1 conversations at work, which can help my fluency but my stutter is still severe. The benefit is that I just feel less shitty about it. If acceptance is hard or impossible at the moment, I think it would really benefit your spirit to start working towards feeling less shame, even a little if you would like to. Ask yourself where it comes from, why you hold onto it, and what’s preventing you from taking action on it. It’s also okay if these answers change over time, because no one can tell you how to live with a serious disability that deprives you of a basic need that’s hardwired into human DNA (socializing and physically present community). Best of luck, I hope you find solace however you can 🫂