Your loneliness and what you're going through must be incredibly hard to bear. Even though asking for help terrifies you, it’s the best thing you can do. It doesn't make you weak. Everyone on this planet needs help with something, we're not meant to handle everything alone. I know it's hard, but talking to your family, even writing it down if speaking feels impossible, could really help. I learned over time to tell my family when I was struggling. Now, we communicate openly and find solutions together. If I had a child in psychological distress, I'd want them to feel safe enough to tell me, no matter what. What you describe about college sounds a lot like school phobia. Combined with the bullying you've experienced, it's clear you need a therapist to work through this. I'm saying this as someone who's been in therapy since the age of 4 and still is as an adult. I've also had a lot of accommodations for my studies, even in university, because I needed them. Without those, I probably wouldn't have been able to study at all. I know people who've even done university remotely, receiving their courses at home. I don't know if that's an option where you live, but it could allow you to study at your own pace, find psychological support, and work with a speech therapist. Maybe you could also find a social circle in a group or association with people who face similar challenges. If speech therapy only made you hide your stutter to the point of selective mutism, it means the techniques you learned weren’t right for you and only made your suffering worse. Maybe a different speech therapist could help you with a different approach. Lastly, what that woman said to you was absolutely horrible. She's clearly a terrible person, and you should consider yourself lucky not to have been in a relationship with someone so cruel. If someone says something like that to you, the problem is never you.