I get you . I know why you feel the way you feel. I feel sorry for you. Its the same why I don't judge people who get super religious when they experience intense trauma. The fact you cannot face reality is one thing but saying terrible things like stuttering is a gift hurts so many other people. No gift has 70% suicidal ideation. It will never be recognized as a disability that it is with this attitude. I hope you get some therapy and understand that stuttering is the same as being blind, deaf or any other disability. We need to fight for our rights. Being delusional might make you feel good but the hurt it causes to other stutterers is not worth it.