It sounds like you need a whole paradigm shift.  Your life simply isn’t workable the way it is. That much is very obvious. Suicide isn’t an option. It’s not. You’re stuck in this life for now.  So what big element can you add to your life to make it workable? It need not be anything anyone has done before. Use your imagination.  Maybe it’s deciding to use your phone for communication all the time, but doing it with a smile and a sense of ease and friendliness. It won’t make your life normal or easy (give up on hoping for that!) but it could make your life workable.  ASK people (using your phone or whatever) to accept you and understand you. Bet on people’s kindness. Don’t get discouraged when it fails. Give them your best smile.  Smile at people. Not because you’re happy or because anything is okay, not because you feel like smiling, but because it’s the ONLY WAY to get close to people. And you need to be close to people.  Write letters to potential employers explaining your situation. Keep doing it and doing it and doing it until you find one that understands and will accept you. The first twenty may reject you, but keep trying. What do you have to lose?  Don’t expect your life to be like other peoples’. You are facing a challenge that most people cannot comprehend and will never face at all.  Dont expect to ever fit yourself into the normal rules of the world. You can’t. Make your own rules.  You’re male, tall, good-looking, smart, a great writer, and you have a degree. People like you can make your own rules. It won’t come overnight, but keep trying because what is there to lose? Compared to suicide, any progress is a win. (I would also add that you ARE a great communicator, as evidenced by this post.)