Free counseling services in Jersey: https://www.opencounseling.com/public-mental-health-nj You’re very welcome. Changing your outlook won’t happen overnight, and it will require work and discipline. Mediation, should you decide to try it, can feel silly and pointless at first. Find guided ones on that app that you like and stick with them. It was explained to me, and made sense to me, that if I know I stutter at a “stress level” of, let’s say, six out of ten. I need to live and stay under that threshold. Non-stutterers may be able to live at stress level of nine or ten always — yeah, not me. Being proactive to lower my stress in life through meditation, life choices, cutting out dramatic people in my life — all went a long way toward me being able to live under my “stuttering threshold”. I wish you the very best best!