What kind of mentality should I have?

What kind of mentality should I have? Every time I stutter, I hate myself. I feel super tired after like I need a lie down and need to cry and I feel tired of life. I’ve heard people say ‘the more you try NOT to stutter, the more you’ll stutter’. What kind of mindset should I have towards stuttering then? I try and be kind to myself, I try to let myself to stutter.. but subconsciously I really ultimately try not to stutter :(