I’m not trying to be the A but can anyone get where I’m coming from?

I’m not trying to be the A but can anyone get where I’m coming from? 17M and each therapy session I have, I feel like shit being unable to speak normally and then being told I’ve been not practicing or maybe I’m faking because he saw I was doing “well” back then. I was called out of class to speak with my IEP helper/teacher and I felt worthless having to do a survey of what I want to do after school knowing that I’ve been denied recruitment in military, employers avoided my messages and I have only a good GPA with no activities to show for. My college counselor says “I’m glad you’re doing so well completing majority of A-G with more than the required credits for graduation, you’ll definitely get in a great college. No I won’t…people think I’m slow in school and in college they’ll think I’m slow too. I give up planning to be in the medical field, I give up on amusement park entertainment, I can only likely do manual labor that’s what my future can be. My mom says “study the written test for drivers license” then I can’t say my own name or confirm proof of documentation. You know it hurts me to go to a game creating area just to be seen as slow by the own administrator then two girls sitting behind me who attend laughing, I felt guilty embarrassing my graphic design teachers. I’m yet again being told by people “oh I have a stutter too”, I’m one away from completely crashing out. I wanna say fucc my education but I only do well to make my family happy, I’m not actually proud of what I do in school because I have nothing to show for it. My stutter destroyed my life so much im a puppet that pleases people so they can’t see how insufferable I am without the support of my brothers or parents. Some days I don’t want to wake up, I don’t want to go school, I just wanna die. I’m being told toxic positivity by people who are fluent and are friends with the same people who spread defaming rumors about me. This is not how we as stutterers should live but this is a reality we all may share, people lose their lives over this but I hope I don’t. If anyone relates let me know in the replies.