Lonely because of too little social interaction, still withdrawing from social events.

Lonely because of too little social interaction, still withdrawing from social events. I have been feeling quite low for the last year. I think it has much to do with seperating from my ex. I also live quite along way from my hometown and family. I have a couple of friends here which I see a couple of days a week, but I do spend too much time alone in my apartment which I think is making quite low. I dont now if I might be suffering from a mild form of depression. Anyway, hooked up with a friend tonight who was out with his friends in like a rock club. I went home quite early, but that time out made me feel alot better. I didnt know any of his friends, and there was a group of like 6 people at a table, and I feel so uncomfortable in situations like that. I didnt speak much for quite some time. I hate it when you speak and everyone is quiet because (obviosly being polite and respectful) they want to hear what I have to say, but then all the attention is on me, and I just want to get some easy words out quickly so I wont be the center of attention. So I feel I either have to try to speak and sound like a weirdo, or just say something easy and probably come across as another kind of weirdo who doesnt have anything to say. Everyone seemed like genuinly nice people. I started chatting with a couple of them, and we had some very specialized intressets in common. Later the music got louder and for some reason my voice gets messed up after a while in places like that, plus its harder make oneself understood. People wanted to talk to me, and I just had these conflicting emotions: on the one hand I just dont wanna stand there by my self feeling lonely so I want to talk to people, on the other hand Im scarred people will talk to me because I might stutter, not be able to make myself understood, or come across as weird or rude. They were probably heading to a party later (im not a party kinda a guy, but once in a while its fun, and i like to meet new people), how ever I took an early night. One of the reasons is beacuse I found it stressfull. The thought of people wanting to talk to me, but that they will find me like booring or weird.