I know it seems hopeless, but I guarantee you things will get so much better for you. You're 18. You've barely scratched the surface of life and are likely still figuring out who you are. Wishing you were "normal" is a pointless and harmful exercise. There's only one you, and you can shape that person into whoever you want to be. Comparing yourself to others will only bring you pain. You can be charismatic, confident, funny, outgoing, anything you want - having a stutter does not prevent you from being any of those things. The first step for me was letting go of the fear. Afraid of making phone calls? Do it anyways. Scared of striking up conversations with people you don't know? Do it anyways. It's fucking terrifying at first, but eventually it won't be. Yes, you'll stumble sometimes, but you'll get to the point where it doesn't really bother you anymore. Second, I would recommend talking to a therapist if you aren't already. Treating and working through my depression helped my stutter tremendously.