I've actually had rock bottom stages like this. Points where I've embarrassed myself where I couldn't even say my name. I feared going to every single class except Maths because I know there was no collaboration in math class. Judging from what you posted, having everything going for you improves your speech and I agree with you. I think this is just a case of going through a struggle until you find something good going for you. Menus usually have numbers next to the dish. I escaped so many situations by just saying a number "63" "51" or whatever. By the way, crying about your stutter is acceptable.. probably everyone here on this sub has done it at some point.