I did a lot of martial arts, it helped me a lot to channel all my anger inside. The feeling of achieving something. Shouting the "Kiai" at karate. Shaking someone to make him is loose his balance at judo. Behaving like an animal at Kung Fu. Breathing loudling while being exhausted. Feeling all my body in pain. All these things that made me feel alive. And still i was lucky that my brother found me with his old rifle from WWII in my mouth, and then threw away the ammos. But i'm happy of who i became now. Things i would never have expected happened in my life. I'm grateful for it, and happy i kept fighting to stay alive.