We've all been there at some point. It's something in our life that we cannot control, and unfortunately we continue to go about our days longing for it to change when in reality it never will without massive work. This mindset is understandable though, it's a way of coping with life. It's very comfortable to give up, to submit to our thoughts. We see it as the only option, but it really is not. It's difficult to see that when you're bogged down in the swamp that is depression, especially when it's related to something that one doesn't have full control over. But I've been there, and can safely say I've gotten out. It just takes a different perspective to see outside of the tunnel vision that is comfortable depression. You see, when you're in that mindset, you can't see any other perspective. It's like being inside of a box, you can only see the walls on the inside and nothing else. It's understandable that this happens. Stuttering, especially when it's severe, is very difficult to deal with. There's actually a whole world outside of that box. I'll start off by saying, in a lot of situations I couldn't say much at all. I didn't have the ability to communicate apart from around close friends and family. I had no hopes for my future really, just thought I'd get a programming job with no need for speaking and it'd work out eventually. I was suicidal sure, I had attempted suicide once but fortunately stopped myself. I was living a depressive life as a result of this, surrounding myself with bad people, listening to depressive music, eating like shit, not getting exercise, bad grades in school before I was finished, no friends, no job, not concentrating on developing myself, just living in a comfort zone, a shell. I was safe, but I wasn't happy. I had tried a ton of speech therapists and techniques, none had worked. I came to a point in my life where I was either going to kill myself or try to do something about it properly. I'll be honest with you here. I needed a different perspective, so I came to places like these, and searched up success stories of people who stutter. I noticed right away, the people who have overcome, and/or those who live a happy life with a stutter, were doing the exact opposite to what I was doing in my life. Do you see what I'm getting at? Those, even many severe stutterers, who were taking a constructive approach to their stutter were living a better life than I was. A happier one. Why? Because their mindset was different, that was all. They were getting up in the morning, reading aloud from a book, doing breathing exercises, meditating, going to the gym, running, eating healthy, surrounding themselves with positive people, living in a positive environment, and most importantly, trying to improve themselves despite their stutter. They weren't waiting for a cure or dwelling on the fact that they have a stutter. This gave them space to be happier and space for their stutter to improve. Plants cannot grow in an unsuitable environment, humans are the same. These people were making sure that other parts of them were interesting, and that their stutter was only a very small portion of who they were. They weren't being defined by their stutter. They weren't being controlled by it. I decided to begin to improve my life. Concentrating on myself, not worrying about social interaction, or feeling forced into the impression that you have to be social all the time. I focused on becoming confident in every other aspect of my life, in college I tried harder, I started eating better and going to the gym, I looked better, was in better shape. I started investing time into hobbies and things that I was interested in. Becoming good at things that I was only average at before. At the same time, I took up a meditation practice, which completely eradicated my anxiety, and therefore my social anxiety. It slowed my thoughts, I learned to not emotionally attach to everything. I stopped hoping and praying I'd be like 'the lads in the pub chatting and joking', I found a better version of myself. I didn't feel restricted to what everyone else did. I became happier, more content within myself. I started breathing exercises and learning to speak slower. My speech slowly got better over the course of this, why? Because I wasn't making it the core of my life. I had better things to think about like when my next gym session was, or course work, or my hobbies. I began to become the best version of myself. That version was not what I prayed for when I was in the negative mindset. I wished back then to be that popular college guy that could talk to girls easily. I turned out to be a guy confident within himself. Not comparing myself to others. I am me, I'm the best version of me, and I like that. Sure, I stutter, but I also like djing, basketball and philosophy, those topics are much more interesting to talk about, right? Everyone has an issue, for some it might be a physical disability, for others it might be something more hidden. For us, it's out in the open. And the hard truth about it is, you need to develop your personality around this. If you stutter and you're overweight and shaking and sweating with nervousness when talking to people, they're going to think you're odd. If you're well built, calm and collected, and have plenty of interests and stutter, you're much more approachable and people don't care about your stutter as much. Get me? Your stutter only becomes a big deal when it's the center of attention in a conversation or situation. I still stutter, and people know I stutter, but I'm confident when I stutter that stuttering doesn't define what others think of me. Tbh, I've had people compliment me about my personality and the fact that I am so confident even with my stutter. That was an achievement for me. My stutter has reduced a hell of a lot though as a result, or maybe it's just I don't care for it as much. So, there's a lot of conclusions from this. You can respond with whatever you want, but at the end of the day it's just an excuse. Anyone can become their best version, no matter what you think is holding you back. It's a tough journey, and it wont seem bright at the start. It takes effort, and a shit ton of it. Are you willing to put in the effort? The thoughts you have? They're just electrical impulses. They mean nothing, and as soon as you have a grasp of that, life becomes much easier. You don't need to take everything seriously, we'll die eventually anyway. There's no point in dwelling over something that in the grand scheme of the world just isn't important. If nothing matters lets just enjoy ourselves being on this rock. I know that's hard to hear, it was for me too. At the end of the day, the depression surrounding the stutter isn't a choice, but how you respond to the depression is. Hide away and live with long term hurt and frustration, or go through the initial anxiety of leaving the comfort of the depressive mindset and eventually with work live a much more comfortable life. That's the choice. So. It's your choice on whether you want to become the best person you possibly can be. It's your choice how you respond to other people. I can only imagine you react now, reacting is emotional. Learn to respond instead of react and you'll find out that what other people say and do mean nothing. You control your own life, as cheesy as it sounds, it's truth. You can choose to live a life controlled by your stutter, or, you can take control and live. --- If you feel encouraged, I can lead you in the right direction, I have lots of information typed up from a past reply which I can comment if you feel like you want to change your mindset. Because that's it isn't it? Your situation may not be able to change (you having a stutter i mean) but your mindset around it can definitely change, but again that's the choice one has to make for themselves.