Firstly, I know how you feel. I don't want to give you a pep talk, im sure others will do that so i'll cut to the chase. What is your current situation? are you living at home? does your family have money? Do you live in new york or near a city? Firstly, you seem to have a lot of troubles and it sounds like its really taking its toll so I would recommend finding a good speech therapist or a good psychologist (doing CBT) who can really understand these kinds of issues. A good speech therapist though would probably be best. One who does Behavioral modification and not only fluency shaping. I think working will a professional will not only help, but also greatly expedite the process. Like some others have posted, theres a lot of great resources out there. Theres good free online books. this one is a staple and comes from the Stuttering Foundation (check out their website, lots of good info). http://www.stutteringhelp.org/free-e-books. Don't feel overwhelmed. Pick one and just start browsing. I read, self-help for the stutterer. Also, again, i'd need to know where you live, but check out the National Stutter Association (http://www.nsastutter.org/). There is an annual conference in the summer that you should go it if you can. Other redditors from this sub have been and from what i'm hear, i think it will change youre life, at least in some positive way. its like over 800 people and its an environment unlike any other. Theres no fear or uncomfortableness. You probably dont even know what that feels like so come if you can. Also, there are local NSA support group. Based on where you live, there could be a chapter near you. They meet once a month and they just talk. Theres no pressure, no obligation. Its not a therapy session or training. It's worth your while to at least check out. I can find out more info if you tell me where you're from. Most importantly, and I dont know what your domestic situation is like, but you should talk with your parents. All they ever want is for you to be happy. You are much more important to them than any job or anything else in the world. I assume you haven't told them too much about how you feel and they probably know something is wrong. You should tell them you have something you want to tell them, find a good time and just open up. It might not be easy or comfortable. It wasn't for me. It was emotionally yes, but i'm very glad I did it. Until you do that, you cant have them help you and theres no one out there who cares as much as mom and dad. anyway, hit me with a reply or your thoughts when you come to and we can see where we go from there.