I feel like this is me talking. I too was the chaterbox of class up until high school, where my speech anxiety got so bad. I'm currently in my second year of college, and what's really helped me is reading, meditation, less than 2 hours of screen time, and always being in the moment. Your mind cannot separate reality from imagination, so your thoughts are critical. Learn to notice thoughts, and realize that they are simply passing by and are not real. I too had a job interview not too long ago in which i completly bombed, and I was so mad, I nearly sent my fist through my desk. I just remember the feeling of shame and embarrassment. The thought "if I could talk normally i would easily have that job" ran through my head. However, that thought is the problem, its negetive and unhelpful. So often we make our speech into who we are, but its really not. You have to realize that anxiety, reactions, and patterns can all be changed through mindfulness and detachment of thoughts and reality. I know this all sounds like spiritual bullshit, but do me a favor and read "10 percent happier" by Dan Harris and then get back to me. You did it before, you can do it again, always remember that. Your mind is working as your enemy right now; it is your responsibility to tame it and control it. It's not about beating stuttering or not stuttering; it's about letting go of all the hate and suffering that is associated with it. Think less, be in the moment more, I promise you will be happier. I hope to hear from you after youve read "10 percent happier." I struggle to, but I no longer dwell and let it upset me. If it's in the past its over, and if it's in the futute there's no point in thinking about it. Happiness is found in the present moment. Thank you for posting about how you feel. It's very brave of you! Youre amazing, man, believe that.